A. Setting: Create a setting using sensory detail The sensory details you use will help the reader walk into your story and experience the setting the same way you did. Here are just a few examples:
There was a tremendous panic in the old, rusty van one windy afternoon. The smell of dirt and smoke filled the air. Cars honking and my mother telling us to get out of the van. Flashbacks of the black car and white air bag striking both of us.
--Evelyn (Period One)
It was early in the morning. The air was fresh and cold. I had my basketball gear on and was getting ready for the game. I went inside the court and the court was all ready and the floor shiny. Then I went with my team. We practiced shooting for a while before the game started. We practiced our lay-ups, free throw shots, three pointers, and two pointers. Suddenly, the loud siren rang for the game to start.
--Nathanial (Period One)
The “Get Acquainted Area” of the Watsonville Animal Shelter is a small fenced yard littered with slobbered-on chew toys and tennis balls. My ten-year-old daughter Andrea had been begging for a dog for the last several years. So we found ourselves there, surrounded by the yapping and barking of a variety of mutts, all seeming to cry,“Pick me! Pick me!”
--Ms. Rainey
B. Conflict: Has the conflict in your narrative been revealed? Try using dialogue and thought-shots as you reveal the problem.
The adoption coordinator came out and said, “You know, we have a real hard-luck case here, a dog that really needs a home. He’s already been here for eight months… .” Her voice trailed off, but I knew what she didn’t want to say in front of Andrea. I thought to myself, this is a “problem dog,” and his days at the shelter, and on this earth, are numbered.
--Ms. Rainey
C. Characters: If you haven't yet begun to develop characters, now is the time. You want your characters to have a living, breathing presence in your story. Here are some ideas for bringing the characters to life:
- Name
- Age
- Physical appearance: hair, clothing, etc.
- Personality traits: shy, energetic, funny, etc.
- Behaviors: what do they do and say?
Notice how Leslie describes her grandfather's character and appearance:
One of my main characters is actually my dog. I want to show the reader what my dog was like: hyper, undisciplined, but very distinctive looking.
That dog ran in such fast circles around the little yard, it was hard to even get a good look at him. When he did finally stop, it was only so that he could growl at my husband. He was medium sized for a dog, with a brindle coat. This means orange, brown, and black tiger stripes. He had a white streak down his snout as clean as snow. He was long-legged and broad-chested like a typical boxer. But unlike a boxer, he was covered by longish fur that stuck up like a hair brush.
--Ms. Rainey
How might you describe your human and/or animal characters? What do they look like? What do they say, think, and do?
1. Find the description you wrote about an important character in your narrative (or add a description now). Revise the description so that it is at least 35 words in length. Try using a showing sentence:
S/he is the kind of person who always...
S/he is the kind of person who would never...
Telling Sentence:
My cousin Janet is very shy.
Change to a Showing Sentence:
My cousin Janet is the kind of person who always turns red whenever the teacher calls on her.
My cousin Janet is the kind of person who would never go up to a boy and ask him his name.
Copy and paste that description on the Padlet Wall so that others can be inspired to write their own awesome description.
